Eastwood woman 'only wishes she'd started her fostering journey sooner'

Debbie, who has been a foster carer for the past 10 years, says she the only regret she has about fostering is that she didn’t start sooner than she did.

After 23 years of working within the corporate world, Debbie took redundancy after she became disillusioned with what she was doing.

Now 10 years on, Debbie discusses her core memories and challenges and admits, ‘if I had my time again, I wish I had started my fostering journey sooner.’

Debbie and her husband have taken two of their foster children through to the age of 18, with their young man now in a Staying Put arrangement, they now offer respite care.

Their young man, was 10 years old when he arrived in 2014 and Debbie remembers well his first night with them.

She said: “It had been so traumatic for him, it took us around 45 minutes to get him out the car.

"He had been picked up from school by a social worker, taken to get some clothes, and then essentially dropped off to strangers.

"I remember putting him to bed and it suddenly dawned on me that I was now responsible for somebody else’s child’.

Now aged 19, the young man is on a Staying Put arrangement and has a girlfriend and a job and is doing well.

Debbie continued: “He is adjusting to being a child not in care and becoming an independent adult.

Debbie and her husband’s second placement, a 14-year-old girl, had experienced roaming on the streets and was on the verge of grooming.

They faced tough times and challenges due to the level of trauma the girl had come from but Debbie said training provided by Nexus Fostering provded invaluable for them on helping her.

She said: "The teenage world she had grown up in was very different from the one we had.”

Their placement decided to leave their care once she turned 18.

Debbie continued: “She had a hard time going in and out of shelters and became homeless but now, at 22, she has a two-year-old daughter and is doing well.

"I’m her ‘go-to person’ for contact for anything she is unsure of and advice.

"She still stays with us occasionally and I visit her regularly.

"She is a very good mum and although it was difficult at the time, we have a good relationship now and will often tell me she wishes she stayed with us for longer.”

Debbie’s advice to other new foster carers is ‘to choose your battles’ and be ‘prepared for the unexpected’ as you never know the level of trauma the child has been exposed to.

She hopes for a more positive light to be shared of fostering so that more people come forward to help vulnerable children and young people.

She said: “A lot of people are worried about the bad side, the children’s behaviour but we need to celebrate the success stories and what the children do achieve.

"A lot of the children that do come into foster care, go on to become great adults and live a fulfilling life.”

If you want to get into fostering, call Nexus on 0115 9815 604 or nexusfostering.co.uk