Annette's six ways to cope with empty nest syndrome

I might be giving my age away now, but can you remember Lynda Bellingham in the iconic OXO TV adverts? In the 1990s, these adverts mirrored our busy family of two boys and a girl. I think that's what resonates with me - catching up on everyone's day around our table over evening meals. I remember the empty nest one coming onto our screens as it landed after a day of everyday Clay chaos. At the end of the advert, the quiet few seconds before everyone bursts through the door got to me, but I shrugged it off with a comforting thought: we are years off that phase yet. Fast-forward to 2007, and both my boys leave home in the same week - one moves into his own home and the other follows in our family's military footsteps. My first taste of empty nest syndrome was arriving home with my daughter to an empty house. We reached for a magazine full of adverts and Lucas, our next family German Shepherd, came the week after. This so-called life journey started to settle down, and I remember thinking how well I handled the changes. With a similar routine and a new distraction, we were back on track. That is until Spring 2024, when my daughter announced: “I'm thinking of buying my first home.” I was absolutely thrilled. Let's go looking. What are you thinking of buying? All of this came flooding in to stop the “bloody hell panic” that was happening right there inside of me. A deposit on a new build to be completed in September 2024. Smiles all around and bursts of pride. Life settled back down into our same shift pattern family routine, as I thought “September is at the end of this year, you’ve I've got this”. I am sitting in my home office with Alexa playing my favourite list, taking in the last deliveries of boxes and adding them to the ever-bursting rooms with boxes ready to go into a new home. The phone call comes to say my daughter is now the owner of a huge dream, one she has worked so hard for, and I am ready to take on the next chapter. What a rollercoaster of understanding my emotions, and my daughter's, too. From sitting for three hours while she chooses the right settee to wraparound supporting her stress as the house purchase moved through stages. We are finally here. Ready to go. I didn't know whether to share my journey or write this blog with my coaching training, but I wanted to finish by saying that I have followed my gut feelings this summer. I have openly talked when I found it hard, started to give more time to supporting my community, and purchased our latest German Shepherd two years ago. On reflection, my most considerable preparation for this next chapter was taking the plunge to start my own business, a challenge I needed. So here is to walking into our next chapter, beaming with pride for all our children and understanding that every day is still a learning day as we go along in this next direction of life. You never know, I may be following Lynda Bellingham with the Last Supper advert and looking for the cottage we have discussed. Here are my top tips on how to cope with the Empty Nest Syndrome. Talk to your partner, rekindle date nights, and have fun. Lean in on friends, create a support network or seek professional help Do something for yourself, start a new hobby or relight and hold one. Take on that challenge. Keep in contact with your children while allowing them independence. Acknowledge and understand your emotions. Give yourself credit; you’ve done fantastic, so now allow time for you. (By the way, you can find the OXO adverts on YouTube. If you do, let me know what you think). Annette.