As someone who has read reviews of his show, I know how much it can upset you, writes Steve N Allen.
You try your best, people laugh and have a great time, then you read the review days later and the negative bits still get to you.
That’s why I am reaching out to WHSmith.
It’s been voted the worst high street store in the UK.
Ah, poor things.
I would send them a letter of condolence but I went in to get stamps and the queue was too big.
It’s the Which? annual survey of shops and it’s the second time WHSmith has come last.
So consider me a modern day Mary Portas because I am here to help WHSmith with some honest feedback.
Firstly, stop it with the last-minute chocolate flogging.
You walk round the shop filled with chocolate, you queue up past even more chocolate and then the cashier says, ‘would you like a £1 chocolate bar?’
You want to scream, ‘if I wanted one I’d have handed it to you, I know how shops work.’
I once bought the 5:2 Diet book from a WHSmith and, as I paid for it, I was asked if I wanted a massive Dairy Milk.
Of course I do, so much, and that’s why I need the book.
And WH, I can call you WH, right, your self-scan tills are the worst.
To buy a newspaper you have to do more computer work than is needed to update Windows 10.
But WHSmith won’t take my advice because its shops are also the only place you can buy water in airports after the security people have taken all your fluids off you.
While it has a captive audience that wants to buy the life-sustaining water, it doesn’t need to improve its shops.