Sutton funnyman hopes Covid doesn't mean its a wrap for local cinemas

In those two cinemas I was some great films.

I also saw Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith.

If you knew me in person back then I am sorry for how much I ranted about that film.

Those fond memories have been bubbling up to the surface since I heard the news that the Cineworld cinema chain is set to shut its screens.

There are 5,500 jobs put at risk by this move, which is a trickle-down effect of the coronavirus.

During the first lockdown we couldn’t go to the cinema, so many big titles were held back.

You can’t release a movie when no-one can go to see it, it would be the cinematic version of a tree falling down in private.

The most famous case of filmic delay is the new Bond film.

It’s called No Time To Die, which is a really unfortunate title during a pandemic.

It would have been insensitive to release it as the numbers were peaking.

The title wasn’t the only unfortunate thing about the film.

Rami Malek plays a villain who wears a mask, and in the modern world that makes him one of the good guys.

Since then the cinemas have been allowed to reopen but with social distancing and with the audience wearing masks.

That will have hit the cinemas bottom line.

Not the social distancing so much, not every screening was a sell out, but the masks.

If you’re wearing a mask you can’t nibble on pop corn and drink a cola, and at £15 for snacks, that is clearly where the cinemas made their money.

The final straw came when the Bond film was delayed yet again.

Is it because the second wave is also a bad time for a film with that title?

Just rename the film, guys, or you’ll never get to release it.

It is hoped that the Cineworld cinemas will be able to reopen next year, with staff being asked to accept redundancy in the hope of rejoining the company when theatres open again.

It would be a shame to lose this institution.

Without the cinema, were would couples go on a date when they don’t want to have to talk?

Where would many people get their first kiss?

Where would some of us go to watch a film and cry like a baby.

It was Star War: Revenge of the Sith I cried at.

I remember blubbing ‘that’s two hours twenty-six minutes I’ll never get back’.

Steve N Allen is a comedian and broadcaster who was raised in Sutton-in-Ashfield, and currently stars in The Mash Report on BBC2. Follow him on Twitter at @mrstevenallen.