Sutton funnyman fears the Government is planning the sequel no-one wants to see

It is a fairly robust rule that sequels are never as a good as the original.

There are exceptions, or course, but for every Terminator 2 there’s a Matrix Reloaded to balance things out.

The first part of a story is the best part.

It’s where we learn a lot about ourselves and deal with the big issues.

Chad columnist Steve N Allenplaceholder image
Chad columnist Steve N Allen

In the second part of a story everything is less impressive which is why we have eight different films showing Peter Parker turning into Spider-Man.

I mention this because we could be heading into Lockdown II: The Sequel.

After the number of positive tests for Covid increased sharply the Government is bringing in new restrictions.

The first time round it was interesting to see how we’d cope but this time it feels laborious.

They are reducing the number of people you can have in your house from 30 to six.

Firstly, who was having 30 people in their homes?

I don’t have enough chairs and even if people are willing to sit on the floor, who has that many cups?

You can’t have more than six friends inside your home but you can go to the pub and be inside with many strangers.

Why do they think strangers are safer than friends?

Have they met my friends?

Is this a ruse to get us all out in the pubs supporting the economy?

They have been telling us to get back to work, to school and into restaurants and we haven’t all been listening.

If they make being at home more boring perhaps we will start to listen to them – it’s Sneak Out To Help Out.

I was shocked to hear the Government plan to make it a requirement for all pubs to take contact details of the drinkers.

I didn’t realise it wasn’t before.

Why have I been handing out my phone number before a drinking session?

It’s like trying to pull but in the wrong order.

I hope they keep an eye on the figures because if the number of cases jumps up but the death rate stays low we should undo these extra measures.

Eventually coronavirus could become widespread but non-fatal.

We don’t shut down the economy to stop people getting cold sores, so let’s keep some perspective.

We need to balance health worries and the need to live a full life.

I am willing do to whatever it takes to stop another lockdown as I’m bored of stockpiling, working on Zoom and binge watching Netflix.

I’ve seen all of the good films on there.

If we’re locked down again I may have to start watching sequels – aarrgh!

Steve N Allen is a comedian and broadcaster who was raised in Sutton-in-Ashfield.

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