Sutton funnyman is adding a coronavirus test to his shopping list

Now it looks like two of those suggestions have been listened to.

The Government has said it will provide antibody tests, to check if a person has had coronavirus, on the NHS.

This is good news because covid-19 can be asymptomatic.

If you have had no symptoms over the last two months you may have been affected.

Care staff will be prioritised, so if you want to be tested just get yourself a job in a hospital.

If that seems a little involved, you can buy an antibody test.

There are online retailer selling the kits but it was Superdrug that trended on social media when people were upset that they were charging £69 per test.

The test itself apparently costs pennies to produce, so there is a large mark-up, but this is how shops work.

I’m sure it doesn’t cost much to make mint shower gel but they charge several pounds for it.

One brand boasts that it contains 7,927 mint leaves – round it up and put 8,000 in, you tight wads.

It is a bit steep.

When I heard they were asking nearly £70 for each test I thought, ‘what do they want, blood?’

Then I read more about how the tests work and realised that yes they do.

Many people were upset that they might have to pay for a test but it is important to remember, you don’t have to tested.

They only tell you if you were ill with coronavirus in the past.

The fact that you’re not currently on a ventilator should tell you that, even if you’ve had it, it wasn’t that bad.

At the moment the scientists aren’t sure that having the antibodies will mean you’ll be immune to the virus.

It makes you wonder what the point of making antibodies is if they don’t keep you well.

Adding pointless cells into my blood is just making me weigh slightly more and I do not need help in that regard.

If you pay £69 for this test and you find out that you had the virus, you still could be at risk so you still have to stay at home.

The only thing you can do with the information is bring it up at dinner parties, which we can’t have at the moment.

But in the name of research, I will get myself tested.

I need to pop to the shops for toothpaste and fake nails anyway.

I’ll let you know the results when I get them.

Steve N Allen is a comedian and broadcaster who was raised in Sutton-in-Ashfield. He currently stars in The Mash Report on BBC2.