Soggy masks and crowded buses just add to the Covid issues for Sutton comedy star

It’s October and that means we can expect some rain.

We are also experiencing a pandemic and that means we are wearing masks.

The logical consequence of those two facts is that we’re going to get wet masks.

This happened to me recently.

I was travelling back from performing at a stand-up comedy gig and was walking to the bus stop because the curfew meant I wasn’t travelling home late

and a bus is about the level of glamour I’d better get used to now.

As the heavens opened and I counted myself lucky that I was wearing my winter coat.

I hadn’t noticed the droplets of rain water slowly absorbing into my disposable mask.

A few minutes later it had started to turn into a kind of papier-mâché.

If you want to make a mould of your lower face this is a great trick but for the rest of us it’s bad news.

Wet paper doesn’t let air through.

There’s no official Government advice on what to do if you get a wet mask.

Some people have said that even after you dry it off it won’t be as effective.

That makes sense for the ones made of paper.

You can also tell if a book has been dropped in the bath no matter how well you dry it off.

This also means it’s a bad idea to soak your paper mask in cold tea to make it look like an old pirate era mask.

A fabric mask you can wash but that doesn’t help you in the moment.

When you have that wet cloth mask on your face it feels like wearing a damp sock.

I mentioned this issue on social media. I’d like to thank everyone who rushed to point out that a water-proof mask might not be a good idea.

You could make one from plastic but you’d find it much harder to breath.

You’d end up blowing most of your air out the sides.

I realise I may be over-reacting to a small issue.

My bigger point is that there are many little details of the way we’re being ask to live out lives that I think the experts should pay attention to.

I was on the busiest bus I’ve seen in ages because of the curfew-induced kicking out time.

People are trying to rush their dessert in a restaurant when their evening was never going to turn into a debauched session.

It’s the small details that will make this system succeed or fail.

Steve N Allen is a comedian and broadcaster who was raised in Sutton-in-Ashfield. He currently stars in The Mash Report on BBC2.