Mansfield counsellor says it's vital for men to talk about how they feel

The official statistics quote just under 5,700 in the UK in 2109.

Perhaps more alarmingly, three quarters of those suicides were men.

It is often felt that men are reticent to externalise their feelings.

When I consider my current client list, I am faced with more women than men.

At the beginning of a client’s therapeutic journey, I quite often will use an analogy to explain how repressing things works.

Imagine I give you an empty jug and I ask you to hold it out directly in front of you.

At first, you will be able to do that with relative ease, but now consider I begin to slowly fill that jug with water and ask you to maintain that position.

As the jug gets heavier it is going to begin to feel painful to the point where eventually it will become unbearable and the only way to alleviate that pain is to either empty the jug, or put it down.

Now imagine your psyche is the jug and the water is all of the painful and upsetting experiences you encounter.

The metaphor of emptying your jug effectively relates to you being able to externalise what you are feeling.

There is an argument that a man’s reticence to disclose, means they allow things to build up to the extent where it becomes unbearable and they see no other way out of the pain.

Sadly, we don’t always get the opportunity to offer empathy and support because in many instances we simply do not know the extent of the situation until it’s too late.

One of the biggest challenges we face is the stigma which still exists around mental health, particularly in men.

If we can create a society where mental health is more openly talked about and no longer stigmatised, then we encourage people to externalise without fear of judgement.

For everybody out there affected by mental health problems, there are always people available to listen and support.

Please understand it’s okay to not feel okay, and opening up to somebody to actively talk about how you feel is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Jason Hanson is a counsellor in Mansfield. Visit his website here.