Column: Police's latest idea means well but it seems out of place in 2025

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I don’t like to criticise our police. They’re a brave force trying to keep us safe – but mainly I like to drive home without being pulled over and recognised from these columns, says comedian and writer Steve N Allen.

Sometimes there is a news story that doesn’t cast them in a flattering light.

One force was branded a joke after it organised a nature walking group. I like walking groups. I like the police. The issue is the overlap of the two.

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You would imagine the police have some crimes to solve, rather than plan outings. It’s akin to the fire brigade leaving some fires going while they plan an evening down the local laser quest.

Guest columnist Steve N Allen is a writer and comedian.Guest columnist Steve N Allen is a writer and comedian.
Guest columnist Steve N Allen is a writer and comedian.

Many people online pointed out that they should prioritise unsolved crime. They could do both at the same time. If the route of the walk was designed to go past many scenes of crimes, the officers might have a breakthrough.

One of their fellow walkers might recognise something. The walks would be great. People love crime dramas.

The police defended the plan as a “beat surgery on the move” and part of efforts to boost contacts with communities. So it’s like having bobbies on the beat but they’re taking people with them. Is it because they’re too scared to go out alone these days? There are criminals everywhere! Someone should really do something about it.

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Also, going on the beat away from the town and around the woods is a great way to make sure you don’t accidentally stop a crime.

"The police promoted the “walking in partnership” on Facebook, saying it was for solo walkers or people who didn’t feel comfortable walking alone. I suppose it’s having a police escort like a foreign dignitary", says guest columnist Steve N Allen."The police promoted the “walking in partnership” on Facebook, saying it was for solo walkers or people who didn’t feel comfortable walking alone. I suppose it’s having a police escort like a foreign dignitary", says guest columnist Steve N Allen.
"The police promoted the “walking in partnership” on Facebook, saying it was for solo walkers or people who didn’t feel comfortable walking alone. I suppose it’s having a police escort like a foreign dignitary", says guest columnist Steve N Allen.

These are the kind of schemes that mean well but seem out of place in 2025.

If the police had solved all of the crimes and the only option was plan a walking event or sit there in the office playing Solitaire on Windows XP, I’d be all for it.

The police promoted the “walking in partnership” on Facebook, saying it was for solo walkers or people who didn’t feel comfortable walking alone. I suppose it’s having a police escort like a foreign dignitary.

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It’s also a really good initiative for another section of society.

If you’re a criminal this is great. You know exactly when people are going to be out of their houses for an hour or so.

Check out more from Steve at YouTube.com/@mrstevenallen

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