Column: Beckham TV documentary certainly seemed to have a neat story to tell

I’m enjoying television at the moment. With the Frasier reboot and the Beckham documentary, it’s like the 1990s again, says comedian and writer Steve N Allen.
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I was never a football fan but I watched the Beckham documentary. I suppose that means I am a fan of the Spice Girls, fashion or having affairs, because they got a mention too.

Since its release, new figures reveal the sales of the jumper David was wearing in some scenes have increased 200 per cent.

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I suppose it’s good they didn’t dwell on the Rebecca Loos scandal or who knows what would have increased. It’s a case of monkey see, monkey do.

Guest columnist Steve N Allen is a comedian and writerGuest columnist Steve N Allen is a comedian and writer
Guest columnist Steve N Allen is a comedian and writer

We watch David Beckham cry about things while wearing jumpers and we all want to be wearing the same item.

Why do we want to dress like David Beckham? In one scene in the documentary we see David’s main wardrobe, which was basically arranged in descending size order and his T-shirts were folded like he was working in a branch of Abercrombie and Fitch, but with better lighting.

David folds his T-shirts and then stacks them slightly staggered so they are all visible. If I were a millionaire with loads of wardrobe space I might do that too but it’s not realistic for most of us.

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Firstly, if I folded all of my clothes I wouldn’t have time left to do anything else. I don’t have the wardrobe space to display all of my t-shirts.

The storage space in our house was divided equally between me and my wife and then anything that she couldn’t fit in her half gets put in mine and apparently that’s fair.

Esquire magazine ran an article saying that David Beckham is making a serious error by hanging his sweaters rather than folding them. Surely the most shocking part of the story is that he arranges them like he’s an archivist at the British Library.

In one scene David could tell that someone had been in his wardrobe because one of the clothes hangers was slightly misaligned. It feels like all of the emotions and pressures he has had in his life went into tidying his room. Why talk about your feelings when you can fold your jumpers?

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Yet we see a man who clearly has issues with his neatness and we think, “Yeah, but that’s a nice jumper. I want to be like him.”

The whole thing makes me feel sorry for Victoria. She’s the one trying to have a fashion business and he sells jumpers without even trying.

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