A guide to dealing with Coronavirus for introverts

Steve N Allen says staying away from people is ideal advice for introverts like him.

The panic could be worse than the disease.

We’re already hearing about a potential shortage of toilet roll and they say society is two meals away from anarchy.

Well, we all know what happens to those meals a few hours later, so let’s not make everything worse.

As an introvert some of the advice we’re being told is really good to hear.

That may shock some people.

No-one thinks that stand-up comedians could be introverted but I did a test, online, at home, on my own and the signs were there.

We’re being told to avoid hugging - yes please, I have struggled with that for years.

People you have met maybe once before greet you with open arms like you are a long lost sibling.

I feel like a cat in a Pepé Le Pew cartoon struggling to get out of their arms.

We are also told to avoid leaving the house to go to places with lots of people.

That sounds like my ideal weekend.

Some people are also avoiding anyone who has recently come back from Tenerife.

I already do but mainly for fear of having to sit through the holiday photos.

Not all of the advice is good for us introverts.

I read that we should avoid touching things in public that ill people may have touched.

Three hours I was at that pelican crossing.

I suppose I could have asked someone to help but, you know, I’m an introvert.

The advice I read said, 'do not use your finger to press buttons'.

I cannot tell you what I used instead but I can tell you I am now not legally not allowed within 50 yards of that ATM.

I've also had to change my PIN number to 7899 as I couldn’t reach the higher up rows.

It’s great though, that we are focusing on hygiene.

We’re washing our hands and doing all the different types of rubs, like we’re the sign language guy on BBC Learning Zone.

We’re standing in the work bathrooms singing 'happy birthday', which keeps us clean and if someone walks in and it is their birthday they’ll think we remembered.

It’s great that we’re being careful about passing on germs and tutting when we see someone cough or sneeze without covering their mouths.

I only hope that when COVID goes the way of SARS, MERS, bird and swine flu, we still keep up with these basic manners that we never should have forgotten in the first place.

Steve N Allen is a comedian and broadcaster who was raised in Sutton-in-Ashfield.