“Never too late to come forward” says childhood abuse survivor

Derek (whose name has been changed to protect his identity) suffered repeated assaults by a man in the 1970s, says he chose to keep quiet throughout his adult life – mainly for fear that he’d not be believed.

Combined with a misplaced sense of shame and a negative view of the police, that fear was enough for Derek to keep his abuse a secret even from his wife.

That all changed when Derek – spurred into action by the plot of a TV soap opera – met the police officers who would help to change his life.

He explained: “I was watching Emmerdale with my wife and there was a story line at the time about a young boy who’d been sexually abused.

“That particular episode was about his flashbacks and that just triggered something in me. I started crying and this Pandora’s box just opened.

“I tried to keep it in but my wife knew something was wrong and I eventually told her that what happened to the character on TV also happened to me. It all just came out.”

Derek discussed what had happened with his wife and a person he knew from the time of the abuse before making the decision to go to the police.

What happened next not only changed his life and eventually put his attacker in prison – but also change his perception of the police.

“I grew up in a community where you didn’t trust the police”, said Derek. “In fact, I would go out of my way to avoid them.

“But what happened when I finally spoke to them about this totally and utterly contradicted every negative thought I had about them.

“Two officers came to my house to speak with me, and I cannot speak highly enough about how sympathetic, patient and caring they were with me. It was a horrible thing to talk about, but I felt safe in that moment.”

Derek was then taken to a police station to give a video recorded interview – an evidential account that can later be used in court.

It was then he met Detective Constable Helen Sanders – a woman he now affectionately refers to as “Supercop”.

“I really don’t have the words to explain how much she helped me during this process,” he added.

“She was honest with me and told me that the investigation would be hard. She told me it could take a long time – but one thing she said made all the difference to me.

“She told me she believed me. That – no matter how and when this all ended – she believed me. She was a police officer, and she believed that this had happened to me.

“For me – and for other survivors of abuse – that was a huge moment because I knew the police were on my side. Of course, I wanted to see the man who did this punished but I think above all I wanted to be believed.

Although he wasn’t the first person to come forward with stories about this abuser, Derek’s testimony was so compelling that it allowed detectives not only to join the dots with previous reports – but also to identify and contact new victims.

In 2024, eight years after he first come forward, Derek watched in court as former Scout Leader and children’s home worker Steven McNally (67) was jailed for 26 years for a string of offences against five boys.

He said the constant and reassuring presence of Detective Constable Sanders that kept him strong throughout the legal process.

“She was so much more than a police officer to me during that process – she was a counsellor and even an anger management expert at times as well. I ended up calling her Super Cop because she was always there for me whenever I needed her.”

Derek, who says the trial verdict lifted a great weight from his shoulders, is now urging other victims of abuse to come forward and speak to the police – for their own benefit and for the benefit of others.

“I won’t pretend that it’s easy”, he added, “because it isn’t.”

“I won’t pretend that it will make everything go away because it won’t.

“I won’t pretend that it will take away the misplaced sense of shame that you may feel for the things that have happened to you.

“But I can say that, in my experience at least, that the truth will unburden you and lift that weight from your shoulders.

“If you are telling the truth then you have nothing to fear – and at the very least the police will have valuable information about a person they may be able to act on at a later date.

“If you are a man like me then I absolutely understand the sense of shame you may feel and your reluctance to even think about what happened; but the only person who should feel any shame it the person who did those things to you when you were a child.

“So, it really is never too late to come forward and tell the police what happened to you in the past.

“What you tell your family is entirely up to you, but you really can trust the police to deal with you in the strictest confidence, and to treat you with dignity and respect.”