Mash Report star is not falling for that old ‘climate change doesn’t exit’ conspiracy

Steve N Allen
Steve N Allen

Maybe it was because I recently watched the Netflix documentary on flat Earth believers while eating strong cheese just before bed, but I think I have spotted a conspiracy, writes Steve N Allen.

For years now some people have claimed that climate change is a hoax, but I’m not falling for it.

I mean, have you seen the weather?

You may have just shouted ‘you can’t judge climate by looking at the weather on one day.’

And I’m not. I’m judging it on two days.

We recently saw the hottest ever day in February.

Now I know that being the hottest day in a cold month like February is like being the least annoying member of the Spice Girls or the most successful business bought by Mike Ashley.

It was 21.1 deg C which is shocking when you remember that 12 months ago we were in the grip of the Beast From The East.

Incidentally, if you add the word ‘Midlands’ to the end of that, you have my old wrestling name.

We were snowbound and shivering through the coldest February temperatures in five years.

And you still expect me to believe there’s no climate change?

I’m not sure why there’s a conspiracy to hide it.

Maybe there’s a lot of lobbying paid for by the big wool companies.

I tried to get a scientist to talk on the record about the claims that climate changing denying is a cover up.

But I couldn’t get anyone to reply to my emails.

In the world of conspiracy theories that is hard proof.

If climate change wasn’t not real why wouldn’t anyone not be willing to talk about it to the media?

I think that’s what I mean, I don’t know, I’m confused.

I think I was out in the sun too long.