Job alert: The Queen is looking for a new butler

I know this isn’t the section of the paper that features job ads but I have spotted one I want to bring to your attention, writes Steve N Allen.
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The Queen is looking for a trainee butler to work at Buckingham Palace.

If you’re looking for a career change this could be for you.

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Yes, you will have to run around after your boss doing whatever they say but that’s true of all jobs.

Steve N AllenSteve N Allen
Steve N Allen

At least with the one you could find out who plays you in The Crown in a few years.

Trainee positions can be difficult.

You often have some stalwart of the industry sending you on pointless errands as a prank.

You may have been sent for a glass hammer but in the royal household they probably have a cut glass hammer as part of some ornamental gift.

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If you’re sent for a ‘long weight’, it sounds like a wind up but they have ladies in waiting, so it’s probably something to pass on to their department.

The salary is £19,935 and it includes accommodation.

That’s very interesting.

Once a year some think tank will produce a study looking at how much a stay-at-home spouse is worth.

Maybe that figure should be capped at £19,935 because we know the market has now set that price.

I’m shocked that butlers earn such a small amount.

There must be other perks.

I suppose you can take a side-on selfie with the Queen and make your own stamps.

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That might sound dodgy but you might feel less icky about doing that than going down the Paul Burrell route.

Either way it sounds like a fun job.

And if you get to travel in the back of a car that Prince Phillip is driving you’d probably get danger money too.