Screen time: 'I'm a digital-savvy mum - why now is the best time to talk about phone use with your kids'
September is the perfect time for a tech reset 📱
- The new school year is now here for most young learners
- As secondary school begins for a new cohort of children, talk about first phones might too
- One expert says the start of term is an ideal time to have a family tech talk
- She urges parents to make use of teachable moments to set clear expectations around screen use and online safety
A mum and online safety expert parents should take the time now to talk to their child about how they use their devices, to create healthy habits for the coming school year.
The six-week summer holidays have now drawn to a close for English schoolchildren, most of whom will be back at school as of this week. Their return to the classroom marks the start of the new 2025/26 academic year, and for thousands of them, the transition to secondary school – where conversations about first phones are likely to start popping up, if they haven’t already.
By age 12, almost all children in England have their own phone, according to a 2024 report published by Parliament’s Education Select Committee. But it also found that nearly one in four used it in a way consistent with behavioural addiction, making any caution felt by parents understandable.
Mum of three Emma Robertson is one of the co-founders of Digital Awareness UK, an organisation that works with Vodafone to promote safer tech use – while giving parents the tools they need to keep their children safe online. She says that devices are now a part of the world today’s children are growing up in, and talking about it is a vital part of this.
Now is the perfect time too, she says, as young people return to school after a holiday that likely involved a bit more screen time than usual. Here’s why the start of the new school year should involve a screen time talk, and her recommendation on how parents should approach this:
The power of ‘teachable moments’
September is one of the best times for a tech reset, Ms Robertson says. “Understandably, parents are caught up with uniforms, shoes, and booking clubs, but screen habits can be overlooked. Yet it’s critical – especially for children moving into year six or starting secondary school, where pressure to have a smartphone or join WhatsApp groups really intensifies.”
She continued: “This is the moment for parents and their children to decide together what a healthy relationship with technology should look like during term time – whether that’s related to gaming, digital learning, being on social media or watching content on video streaming platforms like Netflix.”
To do this in an organic way, she recommended parents harness the power of teachable moments. This allows them to address their child’s phone use, and any of the myriad of problems they might encounter online, as and when they come up.
“Teachable moments might mean discussing an online scam you’ve seen, a celebrity deepfake you’ve heard about, or even a story from school that parents are concerned about, if appropriate,” Ms Robertson said. “This gives parents the opportunity to highlight risks, discuss solutions, and can even enable children to share their own experiences.”
As a parent, it was easy to worry about “big scary dangers” like grooming, online abuse or exposure to harmful content, she added, but children might have persistent, smaller things bothering them too. “Constant ‘micro-anxieties’ – like being left out of a WhatsApp group or comparing themselves to friends’ holiday photos – can also be damaging to their mental and emotional wellbeing and shouldn’t be forgotten… [Children] have explained to us that they hoped feelings of exclusion would end when they had access to messaging apps and social media, but sometimes it can leave them feeling even more excluded.”
While it’s ultimately up to parents to decide when their child is mature enough for their own phone, or to start using the social media apps that come with them, it was never too early to start talking about how to use devices safely and appropriately, she continued. “Don’t wait until secondary school to start having those conversations. Begin as soon as your child starts asking about smartphones, messaging apps or social media. It’s much easier to set expectations before added pressure hits.”
You also needn’t be deterred if you don’t know all of the ins and outs yourself. “Whilst it can be helpful, parents shouldn’t worry too much about keeping up with every app or meme if they’re feeling out of their depth. Even within schools, older pupils are baffled by younger kids’ trends,” she said.
“What endures are the ‘old world’ skills like building self-esteem, resilience, critical thinking and having the confidence to say no when they’re not comfortable with something,” Ms Robertson added. “If you can talk about your own experiences of being left out, or bullied, those life lessons translate just as well to the digital world.”
What other tools are available to help parents manage screen time – and keep their kids safe online?
The Government has recently made changes to the Online Safety Act aimed at better protecting children on the internet. Social media platforms and other sites now legally have to carry out effective age checks to identify young users, while algorithms must be configured to filter out harmful content from being recommended to them.
When it comes to protecting children from harmful content and managing their overall screen time, some social media companies themselves have also taken action. TikTok, for example, offers special teen accounts with nightly wind-down times and family pairing, and new changes announced in July will include the ability for parents to block certain accounts from appearing to their child, and
Some phone and broadband providers may also have tools available for parents. Vodafone has recently announced major changes to its digital safety service Secure Net with families in mind, which are soon to be rolled out. New features will include the ability to set focus times which limit social media use; pause internet usage for certain devices; enter bedtime mode at night; and set customisable content filters across its home WiFi and mobile connections alike – for a more consistent approach to healthy tech habits.
Worried about how much time your child is spending on their phone? Here are the warning signs to look out for that suggest screen time might be getting out of hand. Or if you’d like to see just how much screen time is recommended for every age, check out this story.