Mansfield Chad reporter shares her experience of what life is like for a mum living with fibromyalgia

Ten years ago, I noticed I had not really felt ‘well’ for some time. I struggled sleeping, everything began to hurt, and I felt tired all the time, writes Chad reporter Katrina Taylor.
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I had a young baby, so I put most of it down to being a new mum, but after a while I realised something was not quite right.

I was blessed with a baby who slept through, but I was still lying awake for hours on end – exhausted but unable to sleep.

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I was physically and emotionally drained in every sense and I knew something was amiss.

Katrina TaylorKatrina Taylor
Katrina Taylor

After several visits to my doctor and various consultants, I was given my diagnosis; fibromyalgia syndrome.

So what is it? It is one of many illnesses categorised as a ‘hidden disability’, and it is still one of those which doctors do not fully understand yet.

A recent article in the Chad informed readers of a simple test you can do at home if you are concerned – I definitely scored more than seven.

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In many cases, the condition appears to be triggered by a physically or emotionally stressful event, which in my case was a traumatic birth.

In short, it makes you feel older than your years. Remember the feeling of everything hurting when you have the flu? Welcome to your new daily life.

The problem with fibromyalgia is that everyone experiences it differently – symptoms are wide-ranging.

For me, everything hurts. A lot. My children giving me cuddles can make me wince in pain.

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The fatigue is like nothing I have ever experienced before. Waking up and feeling like you haven’t slept in weeks, with sandpaper where your eyelids used to be.

There is no cure, and no single treatment plan that works for everyone.

I was one of the lucky ones - I very quickly I settled into a treatment regime, which worked with minimal side effects.

I have always hated taking tablets, so suddenly needing a pill box to help with all of my daily medications was an unwanted, but necessary, new accessory.

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Weight gain, memory-loss, lapses in concentration – these were all new to me. I had always taken pride in being quick-witted and, suddenly, I felt like this was being taken away from me.

Then there are the psychological symptoms – mood swings, anxiety and depression. I have experienced them all to a degree over the years.

I am not going to lie – I have struggled at times.

I have experienced relationship breakdowns and sometimes questioned who I even was any more. I was just approaching my 30s and felt like my life had come crashing down around me.

Eventually I stopped feeling sorry for myself - I began to focus on the things I could control, and realised the diagnosis could have been worse.

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Whilst limiting my quality of life, this wasn’t going to cut it short, and some people aren’t that lucky with their prognosis, so I dusted myself off.

10 years later and I now have two beautiful children who rely on me, and I am not going to let them down.

I now write for a living, and although my words do not quite flow as freely as they used to, I get there eventually.

I have had to accept that I probably won’t run marathons any time soon, but I can still exercise gently on good days, which is more than some fibromyalgia sufferers, and for that I am very grateful.

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Sometimes I still have a slump and feel sorry for myself again, but I tell myself that it's okay and move on.

A lot of people struggle with a fibromyalgia diagnosis but, to me, it just means you are a fighter - so give yourself credit.

Every single day the effort to get up, smile and go about your daily life is a huge achievement – something only other fibro-fighters will understand – so pat yourself on the back.

If you didn’t quite manage it? It happens. Tomorrow is a new day.

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Make the most of your good days, and don’t feel guilty if you struggle. It really is okay to ask for help.

I have a new appreciation for life – I make sure I achieve as much as I can, but I am absolutely not afraid to say ‘no’ if I know something will be too much for me.

I relish the days where I have the energy to dance to a song with my sons – it isn’t often, I admit – and I do not beat myself up for the days where even washing the dishes is exhausting.

Fibromyalgia is something I have, it is not who I am.

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