Secondary school-aged children suffering a 'confidence crisis': 5 ways to build your child's self-belief
About 3 in 10 teens report having little or no confidence - in or out of the classroom 😟
- A survey of hundreds of UK teens has found as many as 10 pupils in every classroom may suffer from low confidence
- Girls and and children from certain regions appear to be hit harder
- A youth consultancy says it can have a ripple effect on their education, mental wellbeing, and even future career opportunities
- There are steps parents can take to help boost their child’s confidence at home
A child too scared to get sushi with her friends, and a teen playing dumb in the classroom to avoid being seen as a show-off are just two victims of what a new report suggests could be a burning nationwide issue.
This comes from polling of more than 1,400 11-to-18 year olds across the UK by youth and education consultancy Hark. It has this month released the findings in its new Listen Up Report, which it says has uncovered a whole generation suffering a crisis of confidence.
With about one in three young people saying they have low confidence – or who don’t feel confident at all – Hark says there is an “unheard third” of children in our classrooms, that risk being left behind in school, friendships, and life.
But just how serious an issue is it, and is there anything parents can do to help? Here’s what you need to know:
A ‘confidence crisis’
Across hundreds of secondary school-aged children from all walks of life, about 31% reported having low or no confidence. This is the equivalent of about 10 children in a classroom of 30.
It also dipped across some key life stages. While 71% of young people reported feeling confident at the start of secondary school (age 11), this fell to 65% by age 16 – when they sat their first set of secondary school exams, and had the option to leave school.
Low confidence in the classroom could look like not putting up your hand to ask questions, not taking part in activities, and staying quiet in front of new people, the report said. This in turn affects who asks for help when they need it, who gets noticed, and who feels like they belong.
However, the young people surveyed spoke of even more profound impacts. Eleven-year-old Mia, whose name has been changed for her privacy, said: “Having no confidence makes me feel really sad and not happy with myself, because I don’t believe in myself. It stops me doing things I haven’t tried yet, like sports I haven’t done before. When I was out with my friends, we went to a sushi place but I was too scared to eat anything. I didn’t feel confident. And I love sushi.”
Sophie, 16, said: “I avoid talking in lessons because I fear getting stuff wrong and I’m very shy speaking in front of people. I don’t do much outside of school because I’m not confident in talking to people and I’m too anxious to try new things.”
The report noted that there was likely a combination of different factors to blame, with some including the lingering impact of Covid-19; pressure to maintain an ‘online persona’; fear of judgment, particularly for girls and minority groups; and a lack of emotionally safe spaces to speak openly - all of which may be heightened by adolescence, when young people were shaping their identities.
Hark co-founder Kathryn McColl described the findings as a wake-up call. “When one in three young people lack the confidence to speak up, try new things or believe in their own potential, it’s not just a personal challenge – it becomes a national issue.”
Lacking confidence could have an impact on everything from mental wellbeing to future careers, she continued. “Without it, many young people never even get the chance to step through the doors that could shape their future – because they don’t see them as open to them in the first place.”
Only 7% of young people who admitted not feeling very confident said they expressed their opinions often, while a whopping two-thirds (67%) never spoke to unfamiliar adults. Over the course of their lifetime, this could even have a detrimental impact on their ability to succeed in job interviews, leadership roles, and networking opportunities, the report said.
The children – and regions – hit the hardest
Not all children were equally affected when it comes to low confidence either, the data showed. More than one in three (37%) children from lower socioeconomic backgrounds reported having little or no confidence, compared to 27% of their more advantaged peers.
Similarly, there appeared to be a gender imbalance in play too. More than a third (34%) of girls reported having little to no confidence, In comparison nearly three-quarters (73%) of boys said they were quite-to-very confident – meaning about 27% did not. Even when girls did admit feeling confident, almost half (44%) said they pretended not to be, for fear of being perceived as showing off.
Chloe, 16, was one of them. “I often try to avoid showing off, like in lessons, by not contributing much. I also feel like I sometimes try to act dumber than I am so as to not feel like I’m showing off,” she told researchers.
On top of that, the confidence gap wasn’t evenly spread across the country. Confidence levels were notably higher in London, where 87% of young people said they felt very or quite confident – the highest of any region surveyed. In contrast, young people in Northern Ireland (43%), Wales (41%) and parts of the Midlands (35%) are far more likely to report low or no confidence. Young people in the north (32%) and south of England (33%) also reported lower confidence than the London average.
While no single factor explained these differences, Hark said that the data suggested there were ties between confidence levels and access to education funding, mental health support, youth services, and wider social opportunities – meaning that the issue may be partially shaped by regional and structural inequalities as well as individual experiences.
Tips for building confidence in your child
The good news, however, was that confidence is not a fixed trait. “It can be nurtured and developed with the right support and environment” Ms McColl said. “Parents play a vital role in helping their children build belief in themselves.”
She recommended a few practical ways to help parents boost their child’s confidence:
- Create safe spaces for expression: Encourage your child to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Listen actively and validate their experiences.
- Celebrate small successes: Recognise and praise your child’s efforts and achievements, no matter how small. This builds a sense of accomplishment and motivation.
- Model confidence and positive self-talk: Children learn by example. Show them how to approach challenges with a growth mindset and kindness towards themselves.
- Support social skills development: Encourage playdates, group activities, and social interactions that help your child practice communication and cooperation.
- Be patient and persistent: Building confidence is a journey, not a race. Consistent encouragement and understanding make a big difference over time.
Today’s young people are going through a lot. If you’re a parent and you’d to find out more about how your child’s education may still be being impacted by the pandemic, check out this story. Or if you’d like to learn more about how social media could be affecting them, try this one.