No judgement was a revelation

I was judging myself and often loathing that I had gained weight and I was convinced the people weighing me would judge me too. I felt bad enough without other people knowing and making it worse.

The things I would say to myself were awful, I am a failure, pathetic, useless. We often say the nastiest things to ourselves and wonder where the self loathing comes from. Little wonder the small gain meant guaranteed failure for me.

The turning point came when seeing a photo of myself prompted me to join Slimming World.

There are very few photos of me, whilst my husband would frequently point the camera at me I would pull a face to ensure they were never shown or looked at again. In December 2023 we went to Lanzarote with family and my photo avoidance was the same as usual, there were none worth showing.

One evening we went to a show and as part of the experience the venue took a group photo and gave it to us as a souvenir of our visit. I couldn’t pull a face, this wasn’t just my photo, it was everyone's, so I forced a smile. I briefly looked at our copy but got back to the hotel and popped in the bottom of the case.

When we got home I emptied the case and the photo was there. I sat on the bed and for the first time I really looked at it and I couldn’t believe it was me. I never noticed myself getting this big, when did it happen? Had I been looking in the mirror or had I started to avoid that, like I had the photos. I knew I had lost confidence, I would at times avoid situations where I would see people I knew and I was happy to blend in, but I didn’t realise I looked like this.

I knew I had to lose weight and whilst the quick fix was what I wanted I had done enough of those diets to know it wasn’t the answer. I knew I needed to join a group.

With only a week to Christmas I didn’t want to set myself up to fail so I resolved to a new year, new me. This gave me licence to eat and drink as much as I wanted for two more weeks and I did. Boxing day arrived and I felt awful, I had over indulged and the thought of continuing to do so for another week upset me. I couldn’t wait until 1st January, I looked at the next local group and on 30th December 2023 by journey began.

From the very first group I knew this would be different. This made the world of difference to my dieting experience. People weighed in knowing they had enjoyed Christmas and potentially gained, they talked about enjoying the festivities with their families and here they were taking accountability, drawing a line under it and getting back on track. I knew if I could change my habits and my mindset, dispelling old myths of being judged, as long as I stuck with it I knew I would get there.

From the outset the group was friendly, fun and supportive, everyone was welcoming and respected me without judgement. I weighed in at the end of the first group and no one stipulated my target must be within a certain range. From the outset I felt in control, being able to set my own target and having the freedom to eat the foods I love made all the difference. I lost 1 and a half pounds in the first week, but that did include celebrating New Year, which I still did. Week 2 I lost 3 and a half pounds. 5lb in two weeks felt great.

What I love about Slimming World is there is no pressure to diet in an exact way, food optimising encourages flexibility and the abundance of free food helps ensure I don’t feel hungry or deprived. When the weather is nice I love stir fry and the vibrant colours of a finely chopped salad mean I enjoy it even before I start to eat. When the weather is colder I like nothing more than a stew, cottage pie or chilli, good wholesome, hearty food.

When I feel like a take away, I look for a fakeaway alternative so I can still enjoy and stay on track. That’s not to say I don’t have any takeaways, I do, some weeks I have more than 1 and I’m happy with that. And that is because I know no matter what I do, even if I think I have gained weight, I will still go to group and no one will judge me. I am fully accountable and always get back on track.

For me planning is the key, I fully plan all my meals for the week ahead before I shop, making a list of just what I need. I sit down on a Saturday morning with my husband and we go through a stack of recipe books to decide what to have. We cook everything from fresh and now enjoy creating and cooking the meal. If my husband has time, I don’t get a look in, he loves cooking and our meals are really wholesome and healthy. We use some syns cooking using oils, dressings and seasonings can really enhance a meal. If I want a glass of wine I will have it, as long as everything is measured and weighed that needs to be nothing is out of bounds.

My journey to target has not been the shortest possible, there have been a few downs but many more ups. Christmas saw a 5lb gain but I am absolutely ok with this now because I know no one is judging, everyone’s journey is different and as long as I kept coming and getting the support of the group I knew I would get there. I have been dieting on and off for 40 years, getting stuck or gaining has always meant failure, no more. The unexpected gain can be demoralising but knowing I’m not alone and feeling supported by other members, most of whom have experienced the same thing at some point, is one of the greatest pleasures I get from group.

My mindset has changed, I don’t judge myself and I know no one else is judging me either.

This is not the only change for me, the difference Slimming World has made to me is incredible. Losing 1 stone 12.5lb feels amazing, I have confidence in myself and how I look. I love buying clothes, I love feeling nice. I had become frumpy and wanted to blend in, no more, I love vibrant clothes which make me stand out, not blend in.

The change in how I feel about myself has made such a huge difference to my life and now I want to help and inspire others. I want to help and support people to feel good about themselves and to grow in confidence in a group that will never judge but will always be there, this was one of the greatest gifts Slimming World gave me and I want to lead a group that gives this same gift to all its members. This is why I decided to become a Slimming World consultant myself, I am relaunching my very own group at The Sherwood Colliery Welfare Centre on Dunsil Road, Mansfield Woodhouse on Friday 27th June groups run at 5.30pm & 7pm

If you would love to come along and get the support on your own weight loss journey it would be great to see you there, please get in touch if you have any questions or worries my number is 07810 482346.