Real United must be chanting Blakey’s catchphrase from On the Buses after Tuesday’s Central Midlands League Black Dragon Badges South division match at Linby Colliery.
In a match which he will surely remember for a long time, Joe Butler scored no fewer than seven times as Linby posted a 10-2 win over their visitors.
Matt Murphy added two and Ruban Mitchell one as Linby racked up their record CML score.
Real’s goals came from Jordan Blair and Tyrell Shannon-Lewis.
Wednesday night saw Mickleover Royals make it five wins from five as they saw off new boys Eastwood Community by five clear goals.
Ashley Foster with two, Matthew Savage, Steven O’Connell and Ashleigh Lynch were the scorers, but Royals were indebted to keeper Daniel Spencer for keeping a clean sheet.
Harrowby Saints are celebrating their first league maximum after a 5-2 defeat of Southwell City. Three goals in a seven minute spell set them on their way to a deserved win, Southwell not being helped by having to play 70 minutes with 10 men.
Liam Motson scored twice, Saints’ other goals coming from Jack Millward, Ryan Tittensor and Brad North, City replying through Tom MacDonald and Lyam Webster.
Two goals in each half sent Belper United back to the top of the table as they beat Mickleover RBL 4-1 at Christchurch Meadow. Luke Crosby (2), Jordan Ball and Sam Vickers were Belper’s scorers, Ben Stockley with one for the Legion.
Pinxton’s Tom Ellis found the net twice in their 3-0 success at Holbrook St Michaels, Tom Poole adding the third.
Thoresby Colliery were also among the goals in the Black Dragon Badges North division, beating Welbeck Welfare 9-2.
Their hero was Jamie Tryner, who contributed five to the total, with the others coming from Lewis Bingham (2), Tommy Durrant and Michael Fazakerley. Welbeck had taken a second minute lead through Josh Brentnall, the same player scoring a second late in the game.
There was another big score at Kinsley, where the home side beat Bentley Colliery 7-2.
There were hat-tricks here for both Liam Radford and Jack Owen and one for Andrew Davis, while Luke Smithson and Austin Henry were on the scoresheet for Bentley.
Harworth Colliery and Clay Cross Town were involved in a 3-3 draw at Scrooby Road in a game apparently blighted by clouds of midges.
Luke Attcroft gave the visitors a 16th minute lead, but Harworth edged in front through Dean Burrows and Tom Walker before Ben Townsend levelled from distance just before half-time.
David Cornthwaite’s speculative shot put the home side back in front, but an own goal two minutes from time saw the points shared.
Ollerton Town beat Sherwood Colliery 3-1 at Walesby Lane, but Sherwood’s performance was far better than the scoreline and their current league position would suggest.
Lee Easom, Craig Stanton and an own goal gave Ollerton an unassailable lead, Ben Burbanks pulling one back for the visitors.
Wednesday’s game saw Bilsthorpe reach the top of the table, but they had to come from behind to pip Dinnington Town 2-1.
The home side went in front through Brad Parker, Bilsthorpe equalising 15 minutes from time, Gavin King the scorer. With just three minutes remaining, Keenan Leeds got the all- important decider.