What is it about weather reports that we love so much?
Are our lives so dour that they permanently hinge on what the met office spoon feeds us?
Would we simply stand silent at bus stops if we didn’t have the forecast as our only faithful topic of conversation?
Summer will be hot, winter will be cold. It’s basic stuff, not breaking news.
Yet we go head over heels to be told these seasonal facts time and again.
Of course, we in the media must shoulder much of the blame.
We stand in the most remote inhospitable areas to prove that it’s been snowing.
We wade through swollen rivers to prove it’s been raining.
We say it’s been ‘hotter in Britain than Rio today’, but fail to mention that the other 364 days will actually be colder than Rio, so in the graand scheme of things, we’d rather be in Rio.
And you just know THAT punchline will be dropped in at any second...you know the one - ‘since records began’.
You all love it, and in this multi-platform digital age (typing that made my teeth itch), we can now prove it.
Our internet boffins can keep track on who reads what, and for how long. And the most hits on our websites is always the weather. Always.
Here in Chadshire, it’s been a hectic few weeks. Murder and unspeakable tragedy have dominated our pages for weeks now.
Yet, none have attracted as many clicks as the weather forecast, particularly this latest bout of ‘sun shines in summer shocker’.
So as long as you keep reading it, we’ll keep churning it out. I can only apologise to those who don’t find it interesting, we’re in the minority clearly with this staple of the British conversation.
If only we could find a way for you to queue for your weather reports, we’d have the perfect storm (pun fully intended).